Friday, August 14, 2009

...Gives You The DATE OF DEATH.

Today. I went to school. My Dreadful Dreadful school. Feeling Depressed. Feeling Down.
the bell rings. Diiiinggg. I know i was doomed.

My English teacher comes in. She told us that she was too lazy to teach. What a relief. But she insisted that we play a game. A game she invented. To help us in our vocabulary. 'The old fashioned way' she calls it.

3 students were picked. one by one. Each representing the alphabet. A, B and C. Each of them need to come up with a word beginning with the letter they're representing. She will then ask the student other words associated with the word they've come up with.

Clearly we were uninterested. It was boring. It was hell. I suffered the most.
She perhaps, noticed this. And decided to further my suffering. I was next.

"Haziq! give me one word beginning with the letter D"

I was thinking:
Oh no! I need to think fast. ah fuck she's looking at me! god help me I'm desperate!
maybe her face can help me. Umh let see.
Her face reminds me of ....Devil? Diva? Dirty? Dim Sum!? De---bab??


Umm.. DEATH??"

"Good one! now, what word is commonly associated with 'death'?"

I was thinking:
GREAT! more questions! how I despise youuuu.. HmmMMM.... HEY!
Nadia looks pretty today! hmm I wonder what makes her soo happy...?

"Haziq! berangan ye? tu la! Tau tak? Drugs itu bahayaaa??"

I was thinking:
die ni BM ke BI? ke B I S I N G??


" YE!! YE!! uhh the word commonly asccociated with 'death' is.. iss...... uhh.... Date!!?"

" 'Date' ??? "

then the whole class gelak cam sawan bahbie.

I was thinking:


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

...Brings You SHORTHNESS


readin' through my blog (bahhlu crazy ape?) you probably guessed that I have some issues with my height. (MENTAL ISSUES TAKMAU KESAH?). Truth be told dear strangers, I am pretty short for my age. I'm short for an Asian. I'm short for a guy. Yes its very unfortunate. AND its also uncool!

Hear me out:

Living in a world where being a total dictator is fine as long as you look good can be hard. I was never the attractive one. But its okay! pssh i dont care! I'm not alone babehhs xD. Life is okay. Life is great. I have great friends. I'm having fun. I look around with great satisfaction on how I turn out to be despite my constant mental and financial probss. All smiles and no tears. This is great! things couldn't be better for me. Accept for one TINY PROBLEM...

I was short. I realized. my friends looked like they belong in story books. the sky is theirs. The people around me-- about my age, they are probably enjoying many sights which may be forever hidden from me! OH NO! how could this be! GASP OF DOOM. TINY PROBLEM! eheh get it? uhh..

It felt horrible. Knowing that somehow, no matter how great you are: you are somehow inferior to everyone else. This sucks! Its like having your favorite coffee mug placed on the TOP shelf!
reach for it! reach for it I say! !

ehem. However, according to my great research (which I am trying to make it sound like I really did do a research) Being short is worse for boys compared to girls. How so?
hmm let seee..

1) Small or rather petite girls are largely considered as cute. MOST guys find petite girls very attractive. In fact, they are so attractive that short girls these days aren't even considered to be short at all. People tend to think that they're normal. 'yay' x/

Short guys on the other hand are not viewed as 'cute' at all! They are considered less attractive than other guys and are usually the last to be picked. Their lack of essential inches are more obvious since tall guys basically rules the world. Clearly, finding a partner is harder for us. We are endlessly reminded of how we 'lack' something, standing among other guys. In sports, we are probably the ones chosen not for the ball but the stinky costume. OR chosen to BE the ball boohoo.

2)HIGH HEELS ARE NOT MADE FOR GUYS. yes! haven't you heard? Yeah yeah you lucky ladies get all the good stuff xD. A girl can easily become 'the statue of liberty' by only putting on a pair of 6 inch heels. Woohooh!

How about us guys? Even NORMAL shoes aren't made to fit us! Same goes to any other wearables. We can't get any decent looking outfits without expensive alterings. Tuxedos aren't made for short guys! What do you people suggest we wear!? Pacifiers and diapers? Sailor costumes?

Nowadays, clothing are made especially for petite ladies. XS actually works for them! Yes, they do not face the problems we face dear strangers.

3)The sad sad story of name-calling. Yes. while us guys are stuck with frodo, dobbie and and and GARY COLEMAN!, the girls are stuck with the likes of thumbellina, tinker bell, and ENTAH. Ask yerrselves which is worse? a dude with feet growth disorder or a pretty fairy slut?

Oh! and there's more! but I'm currently suffering from a Temporary SHORT term memory lost!.

(big words for a short guy ) xP